And they all tell me..
that the essence of living is in being content with what you’ve got. That the purpose of life is being happy. And happiness comes from satisfaction. Being satisfied with what you are and what you can or can’t do.
I used to believe that.
But what they dont realize is that there’s a static that comes with this satisfaction. The numb that is lack of things to look forward to. Lack of want. Lack of desire. Envy. Jealousy. The feeling of Vengeance. Ego, even.
One Tuesday night, just like a sudden gust of wind changes the direction of a falling leaf, I stopped believing in that bullshit. I decided not to be satisfied with what I have and what I know and what I can do. I decided that I wanted more. I wanted to be more. And ever since that day, I have always pushed. I have wanted and I have desired. Every single day. Every single day I envy those who are more than me and I am jealous of those who have achieved more. I get angry if I feel betrayed. I have an ego that defines me.
I am not happy, mostly.
But man, do i feel alive!!

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